IS IT REALLY OVER? / SAY IT AIN’T SO!
Dave Cunningham / November 4, 2008
One of the most amusing things I heard recently was from one of the political, television news reporters, saying that whoever wins the presidential race, whether it is McCain or Obama, their first response on Wednesday morning might be to demand a recount.
As for me, I am disappointed that the whole thing is going to be over. Oh sure, there will still be some fun to be had over nominees for the president’s cabinet. But, seriously, how can this be as spectacular and provocative as the Reverend Wright or not knowing how many homes you own or pal-ing around with terrorists or the fear of increased taxes and millions without healthcare?
Seriously, how many times will we be treated to Obama playing basketball? There will be some controversy about installing a basketball court in the basement of the White House. How interesting is that? If McCain is elected, we can try to make a big deal about his wife Cindy’s lifestyle step down to live in the White House. Ho-hum! These pale in comparison with the SNL skits that have become part of our culture.
There’s no policy pronouncement that can possibly replace Sarah Palin. What will we do without her? It’s damn cold in Alaska. What reporter is going to want to cover the comings and goings of the Alaskan governor and her legislature as they argue whether it’s best to shoot wolves from helicopters or from snowmobiles? Bill Clinton’s bridge to the 21st Century was inspiring. But, who will want to follow through to see if there really is a nowhere on the other end of that bridge in Alaska?
There will be excitement if Alaska’s US Senator, Ted Stevens, is forced to resign over his recent trial and conviction. Governor Palin will have to name a successor. Will she appoint herself to the US Senate? Does a bear poop in the woods? Is the Pope Catholic? Will we have another greed-driven financial crisis in the future? Of course she will appoint herself! Then the fun will begin again. The presidential race of 2012 will be off and running. The excitement will be back. Tina Fey will have her SNL job back. U-Tube will have new material.
Since the 2012 campaign will be underway, the Clintons will have to find a way back in without undercutting the president. What will they do? How about “Chelsea Clinton for Congress?” This puts them all back in the spotlight. Oh my God! This is so exciting.
Mitt Romney is in the best spot of all because of the world economic crisis, because he’s the only politician who has a clue about what’s going on. He can jump right back in with his business acumen and experience. But first he has to do something about the religion question. He could use the opportunity to get a foothold in a must win state by moving the LDS Church headquarters to Ohio, Florida, or Pennsylvania.
Dennis Kucinich? Ron Paul? Ralph Nader? Are you guys in?
With Bush and Cheney out of the picture, we’ll need some new demons to blame for our troubles; and demons take a while to develop. So we’ll have to create them. How about the Democratic Congress? They are a perfect target since Congress always comes up short of their potential. A Democratic majority will assure nothing ever happens as they debate over testosterone.
Rush Limbaugh will have a field day. He can begin systematically criticizing the Obama administration almost immediately. It might be difficult to assign the blame for Iraq, Iran, the economy, unemployment, and healthcare to a new president. But Rush has never let the facts get in his way before. So his job is secure for another 48 months.
The Media will re-shuffle. Who will be the new moderator of Meet The Press? Will Tom Brokaw finally retire? Will Katie Couric emerge as the best news interviewer on TV, asking tough, probing questions, such as; Have you found the Senate ladies’ room? What building does the president live in? Of the bills you have voted for, which ones have you read? Will the Rachel Maddow hairdo become the new rage of upcoming female reporters? Will Bill O’Reilly and Keith Obermann please go away? Will FOX News become “fair and balanced?” Will 24 hour news stations start broadcasting news?
This is the most excited I’ve been since – well – since yesterday! I wonder if I can get a job writing for SNL!
Front Runners, LLC 